"Yes, victory is sweet orc - this is great clam chowder."
"Charak ja chowder!"
"Just be careful, you've got it all over your face. You're going to make fantasy characters look bad. And that's your fifth bowl. How much can one orc eat?"
"Kartuk R.A. Salvatore!"
"For those of you just joining us, I'm Kwellyn Tiamaran and the orc and I are live blogging about the best of fantasy literature from Seattle. You'd likely be better off starting off at our first post and working your way back here. The entire town is a little down and under right now- they just lost the SuperGoal or something like that."
"Yeah, we might as well start discussing our next book, well it's more of a series actually. One of our favorites - the dark elf novels of R.A. Salvatore."
"Agree completely with that - Drizzt rocks. Hey orc, call your crow - he's got his beak in one of the chowder pots. We're going to have the sanitation board on our backs. Gods, here comes the waiter."
"Gentlemen, can I get you anything else?"
"Uh sure we'll get you some more chowder. Hey is that your crow? He's got chowder all over his beak. You shouldn't let him eat from your bowl."
"Good advice there sir. Have you by any chance read any R.A. Salvatore?"
"Yeah dude, I'm all over that. Love the dark elf anti-hero thing. By the way, those are some really cool facial tats your friend with the crow has there."
"He says thanks and he likes all your piercings. Those are actually tribal markings detailing the chief gods who are supposed to protect him and what tribe he belongs to."
"Dude! That's intense. Is it like from Survivor or something?"
"Uh, no. It's a ritual scarring and ink thing."
"Whoa - I'll get the chowder.",
"Fradabas, ghear charak je."
"Yeah that's why we both appreciate Drizzt. He's got that dark elf sexy thing going - though I'd agree that orcs are sexier. But he's dark - oh so dark, actually he's about as dark as you are orc."
"Batan je batan!"
"Yeah - always bet on black - I get it."
"But what we really love is that the series is about friends and loyalty and doing what's right. Sure it's got nonstop excellent combat - nothing wrong with that - but Salvatore doesn't shy away from the issues."
"And we can't forget Obould and the entire orc king thing. The possibility of what is perceived as evil, actually being good - or kind of good anyways."
"Orcs cha je gar."
"Yeah orcs are people too. Hey where's the crow? Damn, he's down there eating strawberries. Let's go orc."