"Keep the crow on your shoulder orc, no one will mind here - it's Seattle. Hi there everyone! - for those of you just joining us, Guthmog and I -the renowned elf Kwellyn Tiamaran, are live blogging our series on fantasy writing from all around Seattle. It might be most helpful for you to start at the oldest post and see how it all began- or if you're the more adventurous type - just hop right in and join us."
"Urakas cha donuts?"
"Yeah those little tiny cinnamon donuts are right over there. Look at how they pop out into the oil all nice and hot!"
"Chavat sas. Lod ud Rings."
"Yeah, lets discuss the Lord of the Rings while we munch some of these Seattle delicacies. First let me just say that we all bow down before the master. Tolkien was cool."
"Shagrat, Gorbag, macrasan rrakash."
"Yes, it's true - all orcs are bad guys in Tolkien's view. He got it wrong there, but he was human, wasn't he? _ Excuse me mam, we'll take two dozen of the cinnamon ones. Thanks."
"Hey does that guy you're with have a real axe with him? You can't have that in the market. It looks sharp."
"Don't worry orc. Mam, that's not a battle axe. It's an axe for wood and this is the Pacific Northwest - lots of lumberjack types - you know."
"Are you two with the Comiccon convention or something?"
"Yeah, sure we're with the Comic John thing - don't mind the axe and these are great donuts. Come on orc, let's keep walking."
"Shavat Tolkien little guy horasm khetus."
"That's what we love about him for sure. There's no chosen one who has to save the day according to some prophecy. Those chosen guys could just sleep all day and they'd probably fulfill the prophecies. No, it's tiny little hobbit guys no one has ever heard of who save everyone."
"Yeah and the bad guy Gollum plays a big role - and Frodo and Bilbo's mercy saves them all in the end. Not just beating up on things - mercy itself."
"Orcs takwaran fasmul rrakash."
"Yes, I agree - for being that awesome in theme we can forgive him for always portraying orcs as bloodthirsty monsters. Hey, what's this? They're throwing fish. No, orc! Don't catch the fish!"